Well hello there readers.The end of October marks the end of breast cancer awareness month. With that said here is my last post of my journey. Also here's a friendly reminder ladies Check them boobies!
A lot has happened since my last post 3 months ago. After a marathon of breast cancer diagnosis and treatments that last over a year, I couldn't wait to get back to a normal life again. But the day of my last treatment didn't mark the end of my journey with breast cancer. Instead, I embarked on another leg of the trip. This one is all about adjusting to life as a breast cancer survivor and living with the changes it has left me both physically and mentally . Now that my body image is changed, I am still trying to get used to it. I have gained some acceptance and the strength to move forward with pride. There are days where I am angry at what cancer took away from me and wanting to feel like a woman. Sometimes when I go out with out my breast form I get some very curious looks but I decided I don't care anymore. I have no regrets at all.
It was a very challenging year with So much pain and heartache. Sadly On August 18, 2013 I got the terrible news that my wonderful father passed away through a tragic accident. As I reflect upon this I can say that I am very grateful to have had a father in my life. When I think of Dad, many special moments come to mind and my heart breaks knowing there will be no more. He was hardworking, strong, proud and cared a lot for his family. We are very proud of everything he accomplished and what he taught us. I wish I could feel his big bear hugs. I love you Dad, we miss you every day and will never forget you R.I.P Daddy ️
I believe we must get the most out of life and live every moment. I have my whole life ahead of me, I’m really going to live. I hold on to those near and dear to me closer. Telling them I love and appreciate them. For those who've made me feel down, I've approached them and forgave them but now I gotta learn how to forgive myself. The gift of life is fragile and a few may realize just how precious it can be, each day I wake up, I'm very grateful for the breath that is taken in. Looking and really seeing the people I cherish around me brings joy to my heart and fills my soul. For this and everything else I'm truly grateful and blessed. I create moments that count with my children. I try to actively surround myself with positive people and things. Breast cancer did not ruin my life. It changed my life. It made me realize that I don’t know what the future holds. Whatever time I have left on this Earth I’m going to make it purposeful and meaningful for me. So I make an effort to take in things that make me happy, whether it be listening to music while driving in a car, or actively watching my loved ones enjoying what makes them happy :)
It's been six months since my bilateral mastectomy. I had my routine follow up and I am due back in march. Also I am scheduled to meet the plastic surgeon to plan my reconstructive surgery. I know it will take at least a couple surgeries to complete the process. I am still on tamoxifen, daily for 5 years. I thank God that he has blessed me with an open and accepting attitude that better things will come. I am truly grateful for all he has blessed me with. I fought a battle I didn't see coming and still came out victorious.!! Yes The road has been long, but my new lease on life is sweet. It's been a tremendous healing & positive for me to write my thoughts, in ways it was therapy for me. This post closes this chapter of my life.. My journey through breast cancer. I've added a video and this is to give you insight into my own journey of breast cancer and to raise awareness of this disease especially in young woman. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement through what was the darkest days of my life.
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-What the enemy uses to hurt you, God uses to Prosper you"
Lady~S 😘 xo What a bummer.. I was told yesterday my last day of treatment is on July 26 instead of July 19. The last week of my treatments are called radiation booster. How it's been explained to me is that the boosts are aimed at the "tumor bed" from where the cancer was removed. But hopefully the boosts will be less impactful on the skin than the full-breast treatments were. 20 treatments done 10 more to go!! 😒 Only seven more to go!! : D My radiotherapy treatments are going well and I am grateful. I had a good nights sleep last night so I am feeling rested today. I have done pretty well this week in terms of energy level. I do have some redness of the skin, but it is not too bad and doesn't hurt much at all. Thank you Lord for daily strength!! Well, Hello dear readers quick update. I have made it through the first week of radiation treatments. 9 down 16 more to go!!! I get treatments 5 days a week for 5 weeks and I meet with the Doctor on Thursdays. First thing I do when I get there I go into a little room in which I change into the gown. Then I am led to the radiation room and I lay down on the table.The first step is called simulation. The technicians make sure I am lined up correctly and then the machine comes in towards the front. The worst part of the procedure is lying down with both arms over my head. My arms are still a bit stiff and the procedure takes 15 minutes. Aside from that, the sessions are simply boring. Nothing much is visible, and I keep perfectly still while the machine rotates around me. I'm starting Second week of treatment, My skin remains to be without any signs of burning or soreness and sometimes I can feel the heat radiating from my chest other than that I don't have any other side effects to speak of. I have more energy than the first week. All in all It has been a very good week/end ! One year ago today… my world was rocked with the news that I had invasive carcinoma Breast Cancer at the age of 30. I was honestly devastated! I can remember everything like it was yesterday. The moment the doctor said " its cancer" was like a dream, I could hear him talking but I had no clue what he was saying. I was numb. I wanted to get up and run out of the office. All I could think about was hugging my kids & Titus. When I broke the news to Titus he held it in and held me tight, I took a deep breathe and the tears began to fall down my cheeks. I needed to process this with love, comfort, and prayer. On that day I told God I have my full trust in him, I handed all of my worry, concern and illness to God. I was ready to fight! Cancer messed with the wrong Gal because I am strong, I am confident, I am courageous, I am a fighter, I am stubborn, I don't play by anyone else's rules, and most importantly I am a survivor. I will never give in no matter what the odds are. I will move mountains. One year later… God gets the COMPLETE GLORY!! After 16 cycles of Chemotherapy from July 2012 to January 2013, 2 surgeries A partial mastectomy February 2013 & double mastectomy April 2013, Starting day one of Radiation June 12 2013. It is the last phase of my cancer treatment plan and I will complete my 26 treatments on July 15,2013. A delayed reconstructive surgery, Also I’m taking daily Tamoxifen pill for the next 5years. I'm grateful that I'm closer to the end of this treatment. Words can’t express the gratitude and LOVE I have towards each and EVERY one of you who take time to read about my journey, comment, send prayers, Titus you have given me a shoulder to lean/cry on, listen to me ramble/be emotional, and just everything you have done...We've been through a lot. A good attitude has helped me so much throughout my experience. Breast cancer has opened my outlook on life. My view and perspectives in life has changed so much. I appreciate life so much more. I will become the strength for other young moms, wives, and daughters who are told the terrifying news that they too have breast cancer. This is the most scariest, hardest, life changing journey but, in the end I will have one hell of a story to tell. "God is completely changing me from the inside out. He's giving me a new beginning and there are greater things ahead." I fought long & hard! It was the longest and toughest journey in my life. God!! I can’t believe what I went through…I am a true survivor! And I look forward to a long and healthy life :) God is Good. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE, PRAYERS, SUPPORT, AND KIND WORDS THROUGHOUT!! Again I would like to share with you the final pathology report after surgery and explain the results better. The official results showed clear signs which was all great news. What that all means is that: 11 - months later I am more than grateful to say....
I'M CANCER FREE!!! :D :D My doctor said this was an excellent result. The chemotherapy killed the cancer and my bravest smartest decision to have a double mastectomy removed the rest of the cancer that was isolated inside. We can never tell for sure if it will come back, but at this point, I am cancer free.” Woohoo JUMP FOR JOY!! These results still do not keep me from having radiation. The reason why is because of the spread to my lymph nodes. I will be receiving 25 treatments, which is 5 days a week for 5 weeks. Here’s the best part of this update… if all goes well it looks like I’ll be finishing up my radiation treatments and cancer treatment plan in August. I still got a month to go :) What a happy HAPPY Day for me!! It’s still really surreal to me. I was diagnosed last June 2012. I’ve been overwhelmed with all this cancer crap! THANK God I made it through! Besides routine follow up appointments, delayed reconstructive surgery and having to take Tamoxifen daily for 5 years. I am just SO happy but I can’t believe it’s coming closer to the end. All glory to you God <3 Lately my plate has been quite full. This sucks, it hurts, I’m emotional, tired, scared, worried, sad, angry & everything from my body to my outlook on life has changed. I REALLY hate Cancer! Some days I have been on the verge of tears and feel like giving up, stay in bed and never getting up. At that point I remember and I think to myself, ( “Yes, my plate is full and yet I have come so far and I'm closer to the end of this treatment I’m making it through, I can’t quit, & I’m winning in the end" ) Whether it is sickness, loosing a loved one, financial difficulties, or parenting issues, we all face the same obstacles and we must make it through as best we can. Gotta keep going even though this road has been long & hard, So I continue to press on, knowing that life is going to have ups and downs reminding myself that it is just a part of life to have a very full plate.
Just wanted to do a quick update. It's now been 3 weeks since surgery. On (May 9th) I met with the breast surgeon for the final surgical pathology report. The results showed 4 new cancer cells growing and He said he took everything out and that I did the right thing. My decision to have a bilateral mastectomy had been a good choice for me and saved me. I am happy enough with everything. That day the weather was Absolutely beautiful after getting my results we stepped out and enjoyed the day. I told Titus Lets climb to the top of Mont royal and we did. Go me! haha it was great to get out and exercise. I'm building my strength back up. Oh it feels so good to be getting back to normal day-to-day activities and doing things for myself without any help.
I will be completely honest Exactly 2 weeks after the surgery thats when everything started to process for me. I just broke down and cried for the first time...hysterically. I took a deep breath and let out tears of relief, grief, and joy. I was relieved to have my major surgeries completed, grieving for the loss of my own breasts, and joyous because of the new cancer-free ones I will get in the future. So many emotions all at once. Yes I miss having breasts but They are just breasts and quite honestly they were determined to kill me so off they went. What's important is this doesn't change who I am. I still have my personality which is good. At the end of the day, I’ve happily come to terms with the fact that I still have a ways to go in this journey. The entire point of this whole thing was to prevent cancer and not die. The next step for me is radiation but before that I will need my full range of motion back. The goal is to get my arm over my head. Hopefully we can get started soon. I’m really looking forward to all this stuff being over. Once I am done with radiation, I will be done with treatment and take a break. I'm getting a delayed reconstruction and that will be the final step and finally I would love to celebrate by going on a trip of some sort which I totally deserve ; ) I am thankful for the doctors who provide me with medications and personal guidance. I am grateful for my loving fiancé Titus, my 2 children (now ages 11 and 9) My beloved mother, family, friends, doctors, and my readers who have supported me through my journey. I’m glad you are joining me... I do not have ONE SINGLE REGRET at this point! I’m so happy with my decision. Because at the end of the day, it’s about our lives. Our future. Our families and our friends. It’s about surviving. Plain and simple!
I didn't sleep to well the night before my surgery. Check in at the Royal Victoria Hospital was at 6:30 am. We went straight to the 5th floor where the operating room was. I went down the hall where the recovery room is for preparation. I was told The procedure was scheduled at 9:30. We settled in the waiting room. They called my name to return to the 5th floor my mother and Titus hugged and kissed me before i was taken to the OR. I changed into a gown and I climbed into the bed, I wasn't nervous until they rolled me in the chilly OR and started getting me ready with the iv and things. The area was busting with activity from the minute I switched to the narrow Bed. There was huge bright lights and a ton of people tossing me around putting sticky things all over me. The nurses were making sure I knew my name and birthday and that it matched my bracelet. My surgeon and her assistant came in. She ask what kind of procedure I'm having. I had a hard time blurting out the word "double mastectomy" My surgeon held my hand and said " I can tell your nervous" he assured me that i was in good hands : ) they started preparing me and next thing i know they shot me with something to relax me. The last thing I remember is looking at my surgeon and I told him " see you on the other side" he smiled and said " that's the attitude" Within less then a minute i was feeling woozy..the mask went on and I was out.
4 hours later, I heard, “Sarah, you’re all done.” I gradually woke up. I felt the pressure in my chest and it was very painful. The nurses hooked me up with some pain medicine. I was heavily medicated and woozy. I peeked through my gown and i remember saying "no more boobies" lol As soon as I felt awake they wheeled me out to my own private room that my Doctor booked just for me :) I smiled as I passed the nurses and receptionists. They wished me a speedy recovery. That evening the surgeon came to see me in my room and seemed happy with the results. He informed me that the surgery went very well. I wasn't able to leave until my blood pressure was stable. I got discharged the next day. I got home and gave my sons hugs and kisses. The 1st surgery was tough for me. The partial mastectomy and Having lymph nodes removed complicates the surgery and the recovery. I had trouble lifting my lymph node arm and had to work to get my range of motion back. Second surgery was not that bad. I had a bilateral mastectomy (no reconstruction - yet). Being flat has its advantages and disadvantages. The surgery itselt was not too rough. I was pretty out of it the day of the surgery, but was ready to go home the next day. The biggest hassle post surgery was the 2 drains that need tending twice a day. Titus has been really great and drains them for me. We measure the contents of each drain and record the output. Once the fluid gets to a certain level, they can remove that drain. No showers until all the drains are gone – only sponge bathe. The drains are uncomfortable and I hope to get those out on my post op appt on April 25. I have a home care nurse that comes to my house every 2 days to change the dressings. The medication that I take keeps me tired, so I sleep most of the time. Overall, the surgical and recovery experience has been very good. My main focus is to just heal. It can only get better from here. Thanks for all the prayers and Thanks to all who came to visit me. That meant a lot to me! I hope to post more often : ) |